The 45er
Found on roads, this person will drive consistently at 45mph, in 30m zones and 60m zones. They are the honey badger of driving. They don't give a fuck, they just drive at the speed they like. So... you end up sitting on their tail for ages, unable to pass on the narrow UK roads, and then they sprint ahead, putting the lives of small children at risk in areas that are clearly speed limited for a reason.
I don't really care about the rich people hamlets where they have obviously petitioned the Council for a 30mph sign when they don't deserve it... 3 houses on 1m of road does not deserve a 30mph sign, no matter how much money you have...
These are a common form of English driver, you will meet one every time
you go driving. I mentioned them to my BJJ coach, he smiled, nodded and
said "yeah, you can't avoid those" (the fucking fuckers was implied).
The 'swamped' administrator
To be fair, it's not just administrators, it's any person in a job where you need them to provide you with information, or a task, or service. They are always SWAMPED, OVERWHELMED, TOO BUSY... These are the same people who spend hours of their day popping into other people's offices to tell them how busy they are. They have 1 hr coffees with people ostensibly to talk about work, but will often degenerate into talk about children or similar. They will then comment after coming back from said meeting that they would love to help with your project, but they are too swamped.
The swamped person usually starts their day with a cup of tea and a round or six of solitare. They don't answer their phone till half an hour after they start work. Case in point: buying tickets to visit Warwick Castle - rang immediately after they opened, and was put on hold (at 10p a minute) because their call staff are BUSY ON OTHER CALLS. I realised what was going on after a long wait, and then called back at 9.30 (after tea/solitare time) and the phone was immediately picked up.
My mother in law works in a general practice where this is rife. The receptionists have had to be repeatedly reminded that there is a half hour window from 8-8.30 when most people will ring for an appointment (in fact it's suggested that patients do this!) but these receptionists will often not have their computers on, nor answer their phones until after their tea 'break' (which they start as soon as they arrive). I do not think this is unusual at all, and is a systemic issue.
Ol' orange face
Known as the 'Essex girl' in some circles. A woman with (usually) bleached blonde hair, extremely tight clothing (whether it's flattering or not), and a weird pancaked on orange tinted make up. It looks like they've gone the whole hog on trying to appear like they have a fake tan. They will often come in 'flocks' and are widespread (not just Essex). Always working class, and often pushing a pram.
The hipster
Can be found in places I always find to be awesome. But of course they do what I'm doing to be ironic, or to show superiority. I only do these things because they're awesome (Rob Delaney shows, craft beer bars, great coffee places).
The men almost always have close cropped beards, check shirts of some kind or another, and a scarf that is Sherlock derived. They are almost always hanging out with other men, ergo, I have no real fix on English hipster girls...
Despite my weight loss, I am too old and fat to be a hipster of this variety, and as mentioned seem to be doing similar things for different reasons (or at least that's what I keep telling myself - I'm NOT a hipster!)
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
UK Beers I
While I have great hopes for beer tasting in the next two years, I have been disturbed by the number of Australian lagers on tap so far (in other words Miriam will love it! :-)). I have managed to try a couple of UK beers so far, and haven't been super wowed quite yet.
Brakspear Bitter
Style: Mild
Brewery: Breakspar (one of the big names here)
Rating:5.5
Chance of drinking again: Only if there are no other options. I've tried it, it's OK, doesn't warrant eager drinking.
I really wasn't impressed by this at all. It was an ale, and was much better than anything in Portugal (aside from the sneaky Budvar I got in), but it was a bit of nothing really, Just enough malt to be malty, but not enough to avoid being a little watery, enough beeriness to raise expectations but ultimately disappointing. Missing the creamy smoothness of other handpulled beers I've had, this beer would be better suited to being cold and a bit more fizzy (in other words it needs something to hide its flaws). No real hop profile to speak of.
Rebellion IPA
Style: IPA
Brewery: Marlow Brewery
Rating 7/10
Chance of drinking again: Relatively high. I would look for it in the supermarket.
This was a welcome shift up from all other beers I've had this trip. A solid ale with some nice creaminess and malty goodness. Missing the hop levels of APAs and NZ IPAs, it nonetheless was a good example of the British style. Had the handpulled creaminess, and just the right temperature for the evening. Was also good to taste a beer from a local Oxfordshire brewery. Great baseline, wish I hadn't ruined that honour with the Brakspear....
Brakspear Bitter
Style: Mild
Brewery: Breakspar (one of the big names here)
Rating:5.5
Chance of drinking again: Only if there are no other options. I've tried it, it's OK, doesn't warrant eager drinking.
I really wasn't impressed by this at all. It was an ale, and was much better than anything in Portugal (aside from the sneaky Budvar I got in), but it was a bit of nothing really, Just enough malt to be malty, but not enough to avoid being a little watery, enough beeriness to raise expectations but ultimately disappointing. Missing the creamy smoothness of other handpulled beers I've had, this beer would be better suited to being cold and a bit more fizzy (in other words it needs something to hide its flaws). No real hop profile to speak of.
Rebellion IPA
Style: IPA
Brewery: Marlow Brewery
Rating 7/10
Chance of drinking again: Relatively high. I would look for it in the supermarket.
This was a welcome shift up from all other beers I've had this trip. A solid ale with some nice creaminess and malty goodness. Missing the hop levels of APAs and NZ IPAs, it nonetheless was a good example of the British style. Had the handpulled creaminess, and just the right temperature for the evening. Was also good to taste a beer from a local Oxfordshire brewery. Great baseline, wish I hadn't ruined that honour with the Brakspear....
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Portuguese beer...
Despite sometimes strong misgivings, I like to give the local beer selection in a country a go before judging it. Even if it looks crap, I like to give it a whirl so that when a friendly waiter offers me the beer, I can pound my way through the sense of obligation and their national pride with a well researched opinion.
In these times I can then (with authority) say "No thanks! I'd rather have water" OR "I have a liver disorder, which means I only drink beer that's worth it" (not really for waiters, but good for when people you know try and foist the latest lager internationale on you).
As I'll be in bunch more countries than is typical, I thought I'd start to review the local beers... for research's sake. Starting doesn't mean finishing though, but I intend to do more than one.
So, without further ado... Portugal's two most popular beers:
Super Bock:
Style: pale 'lager'
Rating: 1/10
Chance of drinking again: Even if it were the only beer, or even alcoholic beverage in the world, I would choose to remain abstinent rather than let it pass my lips.
It's sole redeeming feature was how cold it was. Fizzy, watery, in fact a lot like fizzy water, which I hate, so I had an automatic dislike for this. It didn't improve as the fizz wore off, in fact it got worse because it was less cold. Instead of any malt or hops coming to the fore, the defining taste continued to be... water. And not nice water either, water sort of muddied with an indefinable something that you wish wasn't there.
Based on all these features, I predict it could well become the next Corona or Sol in time. People who don't like beer but pretend they do will love it.
Sagres
Style: pale lager
Rating 3/10
Chance of drinking again: With no other real beer options, would drink again (and have done so).
A much better offering than Super Bock (although less available in Porto and less marketed). The first time I saw this beer I was quite put off, as the advertising is blatantly sexist (think Lynx without the 'irony' - Update - while still sexist, turns out the advertising was more "drink the mini and retain your beach body" ala Special K ads). But after 'Super' Bock (Subpar Bock hereafter), I was hoping for something that might be more beer-ish to drink on those hot Portuguese afternoons. Turns out this is actually drinkable when cold, has a bit of a malty flavour (no hops noticeable though).
The beer was also very fizzy, but with actual flavour arising from it, it meant I might actually have this again...
Update: I have modified some aspects of the review system as it basically comes down to "Would I drink this again with no other options and it were presented to me" - turns out percentages are no bloody use to anyone, no bloody use at all... I also upgraded the rating for Sagres to account for both Jody and Miriam's comments - I will hereafter rate beers based within their style rather than overall from now on... I will, HOWEVER, reserve the right to bitch about lagers as they mostly suck. You cannot be a lager aficionado - that is like being a coca-cola aficionado. I also reserve the right to make sweeping statements like this...
In these times I can then (with authority) say "No thanks! I'd rather have water" OR "I have a liver disorder, which means I only drink beer that's worth it" (not really for waiters, but good for when people you know try and foist the latest lager internationale on you).
As I'll be in bunch more countries than is typical, I thought I'd start to review the local beers... for research's sake. Starting doesn't mean finishing though, but I intend to do more than one.
So, without further ado... Portugal's two most popular beers:
Super Bock:
Style: pale 'lager'
Rating: 1/10
Chance of drinking again: Even if it were the only beer, or even alcoholic beverage in the world, I would choose to remain abstinent rather than let it pass my lips.
It's sole redeeming feature was how cold it was. Fizzy, watery, in fact a lot like fizzy water, which I hate, so I had an automatic dislike for this. It didn't improve as the fizz wore off, in fact it got worse because it was less cold. Instead of any malt or hops coming to the fore, the defining taste continued to be... water. And not nice water either, water sort of muddied with an indefinable something that you wish wasn't there.
Based on all these features, I predict it could well become the next Corona or Sol in time. People who don't like beer but pretend they do will love it.
Sagres
Style: pale lager
Rating 3/10
Chance of drinking again: With no other real beer options, would drink again (and have done so).
A much better offering than Super Bock (although less available in Porto and less marketed). The first time I saw this beer I was quite put off, as the advertising is blatantly sexist (think Lynx without the 'irony' - Update - while still sexist, turns out the advertising was more "drink the mini and retain your beach body" ala Special K ads). But after 'Super' Bock (Subpar Bock hereafter), I was hoping for something that might be more beer-ish to drink on those hot Portuguese afternoons. Turns out this is actually drinkable when cold, has a bit of a malty flavour (no hops noticeable though).
The beer was also very fizzy, but with actual flavour arising from it, it meant I might actually have this again...
Update: I have modified some aspects of the review system as it basically comes down to "Would I drink this again with no other options and it were presented to me" - turns out percentages are no bloody use to anyone, no bloody use at all... I also upgraded the rating for Sagres to account for both Jody and Miriam's comments - I will hereafter rate beers based within their style rather than overall from now on... I will, HOWEVER, reserve the right to bitch about lagers as they mostly suck. You cannot be a lager aficionado - that is like being a coca-cola aficionado. I also reserve the right to make sweeping statements like this...
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Portugal is awesome
And we've barely even started.
Feels so good to be doing this holiday (sans Spain) that we've been thinking about for some time.
Porto is kinda awesome, kinda run down, kinda Taiwan-esque, kinda hilly... but a great place to start this thing off...
Feels so good to be doing this holiday (sans Spain) that we've been thinking about for some time.
Porto is kinda awesome, kinda run down, kinda Taiwan-esque, kinda hilly... but a great place to start this thing off...
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Things I am grateful for...
1) My awesome wife.
2) Jody's positivity about the benefits of our move. I really hope that there are some benefits for you and I'm not just being a positivity vampire...
3) An improved sense of wellbeing while flying (aided by valium, but much better than other iterations) - flight was only average,but I was more annoyed by all the sitting about than the moderate bumpiness.
4) Flying through immigration (not literally, but pretty damned snappy) - being smiled at and chatted with by a friendly gatekeeper into the UK.
5) Finding not one but two places that make good coffee in Henley.
6) Our boxes arriving just before we did. Meant I could also make good coffee at home!
7) Getting some tasks and research accomplished like bosses, but without the pressure of needing to shit on anyone's desk or cut off our own genitals.
8) A pretty good transition to the new timezone. Both tired, but actually getting better sleep than before we left.
9) Nicola's parents making life pretty sweet for us, even if much of this is in the form of tempting treats to undermine my sweet dieting skills.
10) Feeling like I will be missed. It sucks as a feeling on one level, but it helps to know that I'm not a complete loser when people do awesome things and say awesome stuff to and about me. Selfish and self indulgent, but also motivates me even more toward being a better Gareth.
11) Videos of Gareth being an awesome Gareth.
2) Jody's positivity about the benefits of our move. I really hope that there are some benefits for you and I'm not just being a positivity vampire...
3) An improved sense of wellbeing while flying (aided by valium, but much better than other iterations) - flight was only average,but I was more annoyed by all the sitting about than the moderate bumpiness.
4) Flying through immigration (not literally, but pretty damned snappy) - being smiled at and chatted with by a friendly gatekeeper into the UK.
5) Finding not one but two places that make good coffee in Henley.
6) Our boxes arriving just before we did. Meant I could also make good coffee at home!
7) Getting some tasks and research accomplished like bosses, but without the pressure of needing to shit on anyone's desk or cut off our own genitals.
8) A pretty good transition to the new timezone. Both tired, but actually getting better sleep than before we left.
9) Nicola's parents making life pretty sweet for us, even if much of this is in the form of tempting treats to undermine my sweet dieting skills.
10) Feeling like I will be missed. It sucks as a feeling on one level, but it helps to know that I'm not a complete loser when people do awesome things and say awesome stuff to and about me. Selfish and self indulgent, but also motivates me even more toward being a better Gareth.
11) Videos of Gareth being an awesome Gareth.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Monday, June 11, 2012
Muddling and awesomeness...
There are days that I feel like a Jedi. Mostly when I'm rolling, but sometimes when I teach at Uni as well.
Everything is easy, effortless. Occasionally when this is happening I will see the face of the person I'm rolling with, when they've realised they've effectively swept themselves, or given me the pass or have subbed themselves, and the WTF look makes me feel like a magician...
Often I will be asked what I did, or what they did and it's hard to explain. But they don't want to hear it's the product of 6 years of muddling.
The same thing happens at Uni much less frequently - presenting material, a theory, an idea in a way that students jaws literally drop. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Again though, it's taken days, and sometimes weeks of muddling my way through preparation to get a turn of phrase, or the inclusion of an example, just right. It's also taken years of being immersed in these ideas; getting them wrong, making dumb statements and framing ideas poorly to finally get some of them right.
I have seen people with much more potential than me, better athletes, younger guys, better public speakers, harder workers come and go. I've seen people who could have finished a high quality PhD go off and find a job because they burnt out doing their Masters. I've seen guys who smashed everybody after six months of BJJ disappear because of various other life things...
I've seen 'gifted' people fall by the wayside too many times to count.
If I have a 'gift,' it's muddling.
I muddle my way through various aspects of my life. I won't be a 4-6 year black belt in BJJ, but I may make it in 10-12. The thing is though, that barring injury, or some other major life event, I WILL make it to black belt - as long as I'm willing to make a commitment to muddling my way to awesomeness.
I won't be a world champion black belt, but I'll be pretty good.
I will be a respected academic at some point - I possibly won't be a Connell, or a Wetherell, but I'll be pretty good at my job.
I won't get there by being the hardest worker, or by being the most gifted, but by recognising that the path of muddling does bring its own kind of success, its own least non-awesomeness. If I compare myself with the best and brightest (as I often do), I will probably lose heart and will not do as well as I could, but if I muddle, I will still be around when (many of) the best and brightest aren't.
I realise this might be construed as an extended humblebrag... in which case, it wasn't a very straightforward one...
Everything is easy, effortless. Occasionally when this is happening I will see the face of the person I'm rolling with, when they've realised they've effectively swept themselves, or given me the pass or have subbed themselves, and the WTF look makes me feel like a magician...
Often I will be asked what I did, or what they did and it's hard to explain. But they don't want to hear it's the product of 6 years of muddling.
The same thing happens at Uni much less frequently - presenting material, a theory, an idea in a way that students jaws literally drop. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Again though, it's taken days, and sometimes weeks of muddling my way through preparation to get a turn of phrase, or the inclusion of an example, just right. It's also taken years of being immersed in these ideas; getting them wrong, making dumb statements and framing ideas poorly to finally get some of them right.
I have seen people with much more potential than me, better athletes, younger guys, better public speakers, harder workers come and go. I've seen people who could have finished a high quality PhD go off and find a job because they burnt out doing their Masters. I've seen guys who smashed everybody after six months of BJJ disappear because of various other life things...
I've seen 'gifted' people fall by the wayside too many times to count.
If I have a 'gift,' it's muddling.
I muddle my way through various aspects of my life. I won't be a 4-6 year black belt in BJJ, but I may make it in 10-12. The thing is though, that barring injury, or some other major life event, I WILL make it to black belt - as long as I'm willing to make a commitment to muddling my way to awesomeness.
I won't be a world champion black belt, but I'll be pretty good.
I will be a respected academic at some point - I possibly won't be a Connell, or a Wetherell, but I'll be pretty good at my job.
I won't get there by being the hardest worker, or by being the most gifted, but by recognising that the path of muddling does bring its own kind of success, its own least non-awesomeness. If I compare myself with the best and brightest (as I often do), I will probably lose heart and will not do as well as I could, but if I muddle, I will still be around when (many of) the best and brightest aren't.
I realise this might be construed as an extended humblebrag... in which case, it wasn't a very straightforward one...
Monday, April 23, 2012
Admitting you're a blogger
Hi, My name is Gareth, and I'm a blogger.
Not a very consistent one, but now people know about this blog, so I will probably have to lift my game.
Or something...
I'm not sure whether letting people know will mean more regular posts, or whether moving to the UK will provide more impetus, but blog I will. Or maybe not. It will depend.
Don't expect much...
Not a very consistent one, but now people know about this blog, so I will probably have to lift my game.
Or something...
I'm not sure whether letting people know will mean more regular posts, or whether moving to the UK will provide more impetus, but blog I will. Or maybe not. It will depend.
Don't expect much...
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Have I mentioned how much I hate DB?
Tui is really just DB with a different name in case people hadn't realised. It enables DB to distance themselves from the absolutely atrocious beer Tui makes, and the flat out sexism dressed up as humour that Tui indulges in. It's important for DB to create some distance, because if people actually started caring about a) beer, and b) a better NZ, they'd be dropping DB as soon as humanly possible.
Tui are appealing to the lowest common denominator in NZ society - the dumbarses who drink a particular beer because the advertising connects with their redneck, backward views of the world, where men are MEN, and women are sex objects with no value aside from their (hetero)sexuality.
If you drink Tui, you're a bloody idiot.
Admittedly some of Tui's ads have been good. They are quick on the mark to take the mickey out of just about anyone. But the shameless sexism, and attempts to appeal to anti-'PC' brainlessness has no place in a society wanting to move forward. It's regressive and it's only value is purely about making DB money (from said dumbarses).
Feminism has done more for a better NZ society than beer ever has. And Tui, well Tui hasn't even done anything for NZ beer... other than provide a standard of poor quality that even Boundary Road can rise above.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Moving to the UK
OK, so moving is happening. A job at The Open University has come up. It's for 2 years and I'm currently dealing through a huge amount of avoidance-based thought processes. My partner is dealing by selling everything we own.
The move is good. It brings a bit of freshness to our lives. It's also meant the superordinate stress has surpassed any anxiety I have been feeling about lecturing a course for the first time. Hopefully I'll manage to find the right amount of anxiety to keep me motivated and productive, yet not be overwhelmed.
Looking forward to good beer everywhere, a different work environment and some awesome BJJ coaching where I can be the student for an extended period.
Yay!
The move is good. It brings a bit of freshness to our lives. It's also meant the superordinate stress has surpassed any anxiety I have been feeling about lecturing a course for the first time. Hopefully I'll manage to find the right amount of anxiety to keep me motivated and productive, yet not be overwhelmed.
Looking forward to good beer everywhere, a different work environment and some awesome BJJ coaching where I can be the student for an extended period.
Yay!
To cheapen worth
One of the things that drew me to BJJ was the suggestion that rank only comes when someone is worthy of it. It's safe to say that my eyes have been opened in the last few years, and I have seen people promoted for a number of reasons other than ability (I've also seen some held back despite ability for various political reasons). The thing that really gets my back up though, is promoting people for training a long time (but without the necessary skills)...
Having trained for 6 years, but not being a regular competitor (and when I did underperforming in relation to my ability), I wonder at times whether I 'stack up' with other purples. Not enough to drive me to regular competition though :). I do know that I hold my own well against high level blues (even athletic high level blues!), established purples (even fit, strong purples), and even the odd black belt (OK I got smashed, but not hideously, soul crushingly so).
So when I see or hear about a belt that got given cos the person's been around a while, and yet has little of the necessary requirements for that grade it makes me grumpy.
In some ways I'm looking forward to moving overseas. It means it'll take me a while before I figure out a new context enough to become this jaded again...
Having trained for 6 years, but not being a regular competitor (and when I did underperforming in relation to my ability), I wonder at times whether I 'stack up' with other purples. Not enough to drive me to regular competition though :). I do know that I hold my own well against high level blues (even athletic high level blues!), established purples (even fit, strong purples), and even the odd black belt (OK I got smashed, but not hideously, soul crushingly so).
So when I see or hear about a belt that got given cos the person's been around a while, and yet has little of the necessary requirements for that grade it makes me grumpy.
In some ways I'm looking forward to moving overseas. It means it'll take me a while before I figure out a new context enough to become this jaded again...
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