Long time... no post

It's funny what almost a year will do for your head-space.

Much of my posting has sounded pretty whiny and self-indulgent - but this a blog after all and that's what they're supposed to for isn't it?

Surely!

Anyway. One of the things that is defining my life aside from the quest for least non-awesomeness, is thinking about what it is that sustains long term perspective. This is true of both my work and my BJJ, but also factors in stuff like weight control, health regimes exercise etc. all necessary features of a life approaching forty it turns out...

But if I'm honest the thing that gets most attention at the moment is my longevity in BJJ. In practice that means investing in myself (to borrow from John Will). It means being willing to sacrifice a bit to afford seminars with some of the best in the world. It means enjoying training, coaching, rolling.

And a huge part of it is 'minimising your ego, to maximise your BJJ' (Rener Gracie, 2011). This means not getting uppity when people 'pass' me (in rank or my guard), not beating myself up if my rolling sucks for a week or two, living more in the moment and the little wins. It also means investing in the relationships I have at the club, especially with those who have been around a while and who are most likely to be around in a few years time.

Another part is reducing injury and skin infections. This means weighing the value of competition, taking the hassles about my MMA socks (to reduce risk of athletes' foot), not taking unnecessary risks to appease my ego, learning to roll at 70% even if it means my arse is being handed to me cos someone else with some skills (and/or attributes) is running at 100%.

In terms of work, it means immersing myself a lot more in the reading process. As I'm a little ADHD, it's often hard to sit and read continuously for long periods. but I need that, so I'm not drawing down on half-arsed ideas or worse from absence. Which brings me back to BJJ... must.drill.more... Especially the Jedi Mind Trick...

Purple Belt

OK, so it turns out it wasn't too much later that I got mine.

My purple was handed to me at a John Will seminar.

As my coaches are also purples, they 'arranged' a private session with the head honcho that was ostensibly to thank me for coaching and being a senior member of the club. Turns out I was under observation and apparently passed with flying colours.

They didn't tell me this until well after I had been through a fairly rocky weekend post seminar, where I felt the thing wasn't entirely deserved (I often still don't). I remember the blue transition being similar with bouts of feeling depressed about the heaviness of the thing (pun unintended).

I think this is partially my own self esteem stuff, but also the weight we put on the coloured belts here due to their lack in the club. The purple really feels like a black belt here and the weight of that is pretty huge at times...

Despite all the angst and worries about the huge target now on my back, this is a good thing. While the belt itself is only a recognition that I'm reducing the non-awesomeness in my life in small stages, it's beginning to feel OK wearing it and I kinda like that...

Getting passed part deux

OK, so long time no post. Mostly because there's no real reason to...

The guy from the June post update: After moving on to a new club has now been awarded his purple belt. I'm still sitting on my (late) blue, so it was definitely a good move on his part as the new challenges and teaching offered in a black belt run club have obviously worked for him. Again, mixed feelings. I'll be quite disappointed if I don't get a purple of my own in the near(ish) future, but in many ways I feel kind of proud of the guy...