Getting passed...

This is (surprisingly) a BJJ related post, and others who do the aforementioned art/sport will associate the title with impending crush-edness (or a need to escape early/reguard if you're good enough). However, this post is less to do with actual rolling and more to do with my own state of mind in being one of the 'top dogs' (or Big Fishes) at a club and having some newer guy begin to seriously kick your arse.

Our club is a relatively young one, mostly white belts, about 10 blues and a couple of purples. I'm the longest standing blue, mostly due to the everso typical (so I understand) blue belt drop-off that has knocked out a couple of others who were 'ahead' of me.

My 'problem' (until very recently) has been with a guy who has been training half as long as I have, but who is much more gifted in the picking up of BJJ awesomeness. He recently got his blue (in just over half the amount of time I did) and seems on his way to get his purple in a relatively short time as well. He has immeasurably more time on his hands to train, is very smart and has that damnedly horrible ability to pick up techniques and concepts the moment he sees or hears about them. He seems to have a direct line between his retinas and his body in a way that I've never seen before. He's also a bigger guy, closer to my own weight (but much more athletic) than the purples in the club who are lighter than me...

I am also a plodder. It takes me some time to get stuff ingrained and it's only through regular drilling of stuff that I've gotten anywhere. Even though I've been blessed with some truly awesome training partners who have lifted my game and given me a lot of motivation, I am resigned to a 'normal' progression though the belts. This means that although I had a good head start on him, now that he's catching (caught?) me, it's only a matter of time before he's much better than I am.

In a bigger club, without my status as one of the 'seniors' to worry about, this guy getting his purple ahead of me would be no problem (or less of a problem? Maybe?). However, I have had to battle myself and my ego in the last few months in the realisation that not only had this guy almost 'caught up' to me in ability/knowledge etc. but he was now on his way to surpassing me.

I was just getting settled into the mode of 'getting passed' (a mental side control if you will). While I would attempt to re-guard, stay on my side, provide a challenge to this guy as he took my space as the 'top' blue, I had come to some acceptance that this was what had happened and not pretending it was otherwise.

And then like a bolt from the blue, this guy announces he's leaving the club.

I'm now in a strange place, one that I wasn't expecting... and the overwhelming emotion has not been relief (which knowing how selfish I am would have been what I would have expected), but a form of grief.

This guy challenged me, he pushed me in ways that others weren't. His guard confounded me in ways no-one else's has. My passing is better, my flow is better, my overall BJJ is better... because of his place in the club. While he was on his way to surpassing me (and probably still will, just in another club), by virtue of doing what he was doing he had helped make the surpassing more difficult for himself, by helping others like myself get better.

It's too early to tell what sort of impact this will have on the club and my own training, but it really feels like someone has passed my guard, then gotten off me and walked away.